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Sunday, February 29th, 2004 link Today I am going to try out my scooter for the first time since my accident on Christmas. I am a little scared but I think it is time. I am going to go to the beach and maybe take some pictures around town. I will post you what I found out there in the big world. Since I started weight watchers two weeks ago, I've lost 10 pounds. Feels good. Thirty more to go. Maybe I will be close to my goal by the end of April. I will at the very least feel a whole lot better about myself. Hair today, gone tomorrow All aboard the crazy bus! Tom said "No, you are already crazy, you are just taking a different route on the crazy bus". All aboard the crazy bus! Next stop; Obsessive snack organization party!
Saturday, February 28th, 2004 link Day off! Today I went shopping! I went to Nordstroms and found me some Dankos. I'm already convinced they are the best shoes I've ever owned. My doctor recommended them for my broken foot recovery. They have hard, rocker soles and good support. I was walking around in Nordstrom's feeling like I could just cry. The shoes I got last week had seemed ok at the time, but just stepping into the Danskos felt so much better, I vowed to never step in the other shoes again. They are on their way to Goodwill now. I ended up buying two pairs of shoes; clogs and sort of dressier shoes you'd wear with jeans. They are a lot of money but my feet are so fricken happy.
Friday, February 27th, 2004 link It's friday. I'm so fucking happy it's friday. It's a very bad day for the foot/leg today. I tried to go to safeway twice to get a brace for my RSS but my leg keeps cramping up really bad. Boy, I just sound peachy. Just a few more hours, then rest rest rest.
Thursday, February 26th, 2004 link cranky angry tired hungry worn-out sleepy grumpy ouchie sore. Just gotta make it to 6ish then on to Liz and Oona's for chinese food. Looks like I get to take the weekend off. I hope I make it that far.
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004 link I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt. I'm so burnt.
Tuesday, February 24th, 2004 link
I was so happy being out in the world, not concentrating on anything computer or painting wise, that I decided to play hooky from class. Only the rarest circumstances make me want to skip class. I got some presents for Oona's birthday on Wednesday. I found a new lunch bag for me and some t-shirts. I walked the entire length of the mall in real shoes. It was slow and painful but so, so very joyous. Once home from my shopping experience, I put the brace back on and we went to sushi at Grandeho. We drank beer and sake and had sukiyaki. It was one of those great nights that you want to last forever. We were eavesdropping on the two guys next to us. They were talking about their small children and all the tactics they try to get the kids to sleep. One guy said something like "I think we got sort of ripped off with the first kid sleep-wise. Tom said something to the effect of "Don't they know that it's those moments that are the best? Like when you get up in the middle of the night and make snacks?" He talked about how his dad would get up and cook stuff for him and they'd sit in the kitchen and talk. You know those moments, they are the quiet moments when you are so alive and it's so personal. And to not be able to recognize these moments as a parent, is just so wrong. I told Tom we deserved to be parents so much more than them. He got me all emotional because I realised he really is the greatest guy in the whole world.
Monday, February 23th, 2004 link Tonight I called Jon and talked to him for about an hour. This might not seem like such a weird thing to do, but for me it is. I never use the telephone anymore. And I gotta say, it was so very very nice. Email is in some ways very personal but in others, incredibly unpersonal. You can share you innermost thoughts, but somehow putting them in that format, makes them seem less important. I want to connect to my friends more. I must email Stacie Chun right now.
Sunday, February 22th, 2004 link I really needed a day off today so it just took me a long time to get to work. All I did was sleep in a little, wash dishes, buy groceries and eat rice and mangos. I still didn't manage to get in to work until 4pm. I'm angry that of my 12 years in the computer industry, I've worked 9 years for people who expected me to work overtime and yet don't give a rat's ass about my well-being. So I'm in a shitty mood. This just happens towards the end of a big projects. I will be fine. I'm just angry. I don't want to do this again. I need some God damned balance in my life.
Saturday, February 21th, 2004 link Today I had book binding class all day. I was so hung over. It was a rough day but I ended up with a really cute blank journal to show for my efforts. Next month I have a typesetting class with the same teacher. I'm going to try and show up not hung over for that one. The show was a big success. I don't think anyone sold any paintings but it was a big crowd and everyone had a good time. My friend James played and everyone loved them. On to the next one!
Friday, February 20th, 2004 link Today is the big show! Are you coming? I'm sorta nervous because I didn't get any marketing stuff together like a book and business cards. I may just have to sneak out of work early and throw something together. I've spent too much time and money on this show do do it half-assed.
Thursday, February 19th, 2004 link We saw Swell last night at the Make Out Room. I was all cranky because I was hungry and felt guilty about leaving my coworkers at 9pm ??? but after a few beers I was a very happy camper. I stole a chair from the guitar player unknowingly. Sorta funny.
Wednesday, February 18th, 2004 link I definitely feel like I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I see a foot light, a fat light and a project light. I think it's going to be a good summer. I feel like this blog has been so freaking boring. I am sorry for that. I am finally starting to feel my creative juices flowing once again. No more grey clouds following me around. I will be full of exciting stories and art projects to share. Just you wait! And to add to the kick starting of my new lease on life, I'm taking another book binding class this Saturday... morning... right after the show. This is going to hurt a little.
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004 link I started Weight Watchers last night. I can't take it anymore. I want someone to tell me what to eat. I will be doing the crazy points system for 4 months to loose my extra 35 pounds! That's a whole lot. I kept thinking about what a pound of fat looks like. I'm going to be a different person. I'm going to feel like me again. I'm all excited but very hungry! I wasn't really prepared to start my diet today. I had no snacks to keep me from going insane. So it was sort of a rough day. I realized however that tupperware is not food so therefore is worth zero points. So I will be eating my tupperware with my dinner tonight.
Monday, February 16th, 2004 link I've been having RSS in my hand pretty bad. Probably from all the data entry I did last week for the site, and all the hours I've been putting in. I had originally planned on taking today off because of the show but later decided Friday would be a better day to take off. But I couldn't lift my laptop into my bag without lots of pain so I decided, damnit, it's President's day and I'm taking the day off. My foot was really sore after Sunday too. I just needed some rest. I ended up sleeping most of the day. It was nice and much needed.
Sunday, February 15th, 2004 link We hung the show today. It's looking good. I have two encaustics and two oils hanging in the show and will try to keep more in the back room. It was a long day today and I was on my feet a lot. I walked pretty far. There were no open bathrooms in the space so I had to walk a couple times to a bathroom. I was feeling so sure of myself, I walked to Pearl to get some sign stuff for the show. By Sunday night I was exhausted and sore.
Saturday, February 14th, 2004 link
Tom got me this Ukulele for my Valentine's Day gift. I love it so much. I played it all day and my fingers are raw and sore. I found some chord charts on the internet and tried to just get used to playing totally different chords. My hopes of ever being a decent guitar player and definitely shot for sure, D is now more like a retarded A, G looks more like D, and A looks like a two fingered E I am glad I'm the kind of girlfriend you can buy a Ukulele for. And I think it's nice I know just how cool that is. I spoiled Tom rotten with a 20 gig iPod. But only because he's the kind of boyfriend who knows that a cool ukulele is the perfect gift. I want to find out more about my ukulele. The sticker is gone fro the inside so we have no idea when it was made. One friend said it was probably from the 50's or 60's. Looking around at similar Ukes on the internet, it might be from the 40s. It's a tobacco sunburst Silvertone, and that color was popular in the 40s. We'll have to keep looking. Anybody out there have a clue? Email me.
Friday, February 13th, 2004 link
I woke up this morning in a really bad mood. I cried a bunch and had to calm down to get ready for work. All mornings are hard so it's difficult to tell when it's just a super bad day. I went to work but soon started crying. My boss called and cab and sent me home. I'm now icing and watching tv. Tom surprised me on his lunch hour with the flowers you see here. I intend to stay right here on the couch, foot propped up, for the rest of the day. I called Peggy who is an expert on foot injury and she said this part is the hardest part. More pain, more frustration, more depression. At least it's a recovering kind of misery, not just a "I'm broken and it hurts" kind of misery. I know I can handle it just fine. I just have to remember to give myself a break every once in a while I so don't go nutty. Falling Up Thursday, February 12th, 2004 link
I can say one positive thing about my broken foot is that I've learned to love George's Chinese Donut Terriaki Burger place down the street. It's the only place that doesn't require hobbling up a hill. I had these wonderful fried eggs and bacon this morning and they were delicious. Only $3.50! Happy almost Valentine's Day everybody! Here's a valentine for you.
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004 link
I'm happy to be out of the cast. I did a major exfoliation job on my foot and leg last night. Super gross. I'm a little wobbly and experiencing all kinds of new pains with the new, fancy brace which will go away quickly I think. I've started doing a little rehab on the ankle last night so that by the time I get my final x-ray and ok from the doctor, my ankle will have some strength back in it. Sleeping is a bit scary because I don't sleep with the brace on, so I wrapped my foot up in an ace bandage to kind of stabalize it. My foot looks like a new born baby. The skin is sorta splotchy and red, there is no visible muscle tone at all so it looks all puffy and weird. When you compare both feet side-by-side, they look like they came from two different people. It's still swollen in a couple places and tender, but shiny and new looking.
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004 link Today is cast off day. I'm so nervous. Tom almost couldn't come because of a meeting but I think he can come. I'm so scared of the saw. Hopefully all will be well with my foot and I get to graduate to a brace.
Monday, February 9th, 2004 link Today I took the bus one stop to go to the ATM and get some stamps at the post office. I didn't bring my crutches and I walked around Office Depot, down the stairs to the post office, and back down the hill back to work. My foot feels a thousand times better than it did last week. It's a big relieve to have almost no pain. Hopefully things will go well at the doctor's tomorrow and I will graduate to a nice brace. I'm hoping to swim once or twice a week once I'm cast-free.
Sunday, February 8th, 2004 link I did so very little yesterday, I might have set a personal record. It's been a long time since I've been able to do nothing and boy, did it feel good. I stayed in my pajamas all day, watched bad television and ate snacks. The most difficult thing I did was good an egg, take a shower, and wash a couple dishes.
Saturday, February 7th, 2004 link I haven't had the energy to bother about how I dress or look lately. Not that I'm a fashion whore normally but you know, I've really gone to pot in the last 6 weeks. I did make some sort of effort today. I bought a box or grocery store hair dye. I need a haircut, I need some better clothes. We're going to see Nada Surf tonight at the Great American Music Hall. They've been kind enough to reserve a seat for me on the balcony so i can watch from the comfort of a chair. We are going to brave two buses to get there. Should be interesting. It will be an adventure.
Friday, February 6th, 2004 link So this cow walks into a bank... Rough week at work for me. I can't wait for the weekend. I think I keep saying that. It'll be my first untainted weekend in a very long time. The foot feels a little better today. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I had a big pout session last night that was nice. I'm looking forward to my doctor's appointment next tuesday. if all goes well I will be cast free. I just want to know that this pain I'm feeling is normal. I mean I know it's gotta hurt to grown bones back but my pain just seems a little too close to unbearable. I'm worried my little foot is not healing correctly and I'll be all floppy.
Thursday, February 5th, 2004 link
There were 10 kids in Lisa's house at the same time!
Wednesday, February 4th, 2004 link I've been in varying degrees of pain, nearly every moment of every day, for a really long time now. 42 days to be exact. Thinking about that makes me really tired. Especially since my website is launched. I'm tired, I need a break. I need a break, I'm tired. La la la. Can't wait for the weekend. I'm going to listen to Loverboy, Get Lucky right now. Everybody's workin' for the weekend. I'm going to a stitch 'n' bitch tonight. I don't have any stitching to do but I bet there's some bitching in me still waiting to be released. Well probably not, but it will be nice to see my friends.
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004 link I had a really bad night with the foot last night. Very very painful. I am sort of freaking out that it's not healing right. I'm exhausted and I have taken on too much responsibility. Gee, what else is new.
Monday, February 2nd, 2004 link
Check out this interactive tube guide. It's brill!
Sunday, February 1st, 2004 link We launched the new website today. I feel like I'm decompressing. All the stress and anxiety are still in me but they no longer have a purpose. So my brain spins and doesn't want to stop. I got a couple hours of sleep in, but now it's early monday morning and I'm wide awake. I sent an addendum to the "Hey we're live and on the interweb" email that my boss sent out. I just want people to care that I worked really hard and gave up my life for several weeks and I'm exhausted. And I want people to know how hard me and my coworkers have been trying to get this huge project done. But honestly I know it's too much to ask. Who do I want to understand anyway? There is no audience for my email except me and my coworkers. We will just have to pat ourselves on the back and move on. And it makes me sad that in a couple weeks it'll probably start all over. At least now I can hobble a little and I have a class starting this week. I just need to have a life outside of work or I will go insane. and I haven't had that recently, so I'm a little insane right now. January was all about bitching and moaning and feeling sorry for myself. I hope February is better. I will pretend it's still february first and I will make sure from here on out, I'll focus on serenity this month, and not let work get me down, and not let it suck up my life. And I will rejoice in my foot's healing and take walks in the park.
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The New Soft Shoe
Today for Valentine's Day we slept in a little, had breakfast at the Pork Store, took a nap, had fun grocery shopping at Andronico's and made an amazing dinner. We started with Bread, Brie, olive paste and salami. For dinner we had roasted pork loin stuffed with apples, onions and sage, mushroom risotto, and creamed spinach. Dessert was a Just Deserts Carrot cake with Hagen Das Vanilla ice cream. I was so good.
Super bad day for the foot. I got home last night and unwrapped my foot to find 
We were here last night until 11:30 working on this crazy project. I don't know if we're going to make our deadline of Feb 29th. I do know that my hand hurts and I'll probably leave at a normal time today. It's getting hard to type. Ouch!
I am cast free today! Here is the x-ray from yesterday's doctor visit. As you can see, there's quite a bit of displacement which is why I've been so worried. But the doctors assure me it won't bother me at all.
We had a stitch and bitch last night but there was no stitching involved. I've decided they have completely turned into an excuse for the girlfriends to get together and catch up. It gets harder to find time to see each other. So it was a very fun night.
I just booked us a hotel for London. I found it, it looked like exactly what we'd want, and so I just went and booked it. 
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